


Jace's Goodbye

by holeofholland



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland Friendship, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Best Friends, Bisexual Jace Wayland, Book 3: City of Glass, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Boys In Love, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, M/M, Makeup Sex, Porn With Plot, Protective Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis & Jace Wayland Friendship, Unrequited Love, Vampire Simon Lewis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24134440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holeofholland/pseuds/holeofholland
Summary: Jace Wayland knows he must set out to find Sebastian. Not only did he kill Hodge and hurt Clary, but he may be the only lead the Clave has in finding the location of Valentine. Jace knows the task falls upon his shoulders, no matter the danger. But before he sets out, there's one thing he must do...say goodbye to Alec Lightwood.RATED MATURE for some implied sexual content.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Jace's Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in what I like to think is an Alternative Timeline during the events of "City of Glass." Specifically, I imagine it between Chapter 14 when Jace sleeps next to Clary and Chapter 15 when Jace heads off to track Sebastian.

A shiver ran the length of Jace's spine as he marched up the walkway to the Penhallow house. In the dark, it looked nearly ominous, like a warning to stay as far away as possible. That was ridiculous, Jace told himself, drawing from his pocket the Stele he'd snatched from Clary's bedroom. And even if there had been some warning just for his sake, he would have ignored it anyway. 

Jace brought the tip of the stele just above the front doorknob. He glided it swiftly, slowing the dark imprint of swirls and circles to form. When he was finished, it glowed faintly and a nearly inaudible click sounded. With the door unlocked, Jace entered.

The Witchlight that normally bathed the Penhallow’s dreary kitchen was gone. Now, the only light came from the moon that shone through the house’s large bay window – and it was far from illuminating. It was no matter, Jace reminded himself. Despite having only spent two days walking the halls of the house, he had remembered enough to keep his footing.

Slowly, he padded through the living room – cold and distant without a fire raging in the corner – and up the staircase to the bedrooms. He passed his own, only glancing at it, before heading to the last door on the left.

He rapped his knuckles softly on the wood. A few seconds later, the door swung open and Jace came face to face with his _parabatai_.

“ _Jace_ ,” Alec hissed. “Where have you been? We saved a plate for you at dinner but you never came. It was Chinese too, which is very difficult to get around here. You know you could-”

“Alec,” Jace interrupted, raising his hand in defense. “Please, just let me come in.”

Alec who always seemed ready to fight and was never caught off guard by _anything_ looked taken aback. He wavered for only a moment then stepped aside. Jace moved past him and sat on the crumpled blankets that he figured Alec must have tossed off in a rush to answer his knock.

“I woke you,” Jace said. “I’m sorry.”

Alec locked the door behind him and joined his _parabatai_ – his brother- on the bed. “I wasn’t really asleep. I was thinking too much.”

In the dark, Alec noted silently, Jace seemed rather defenseless. The hard lines and fierce mask he wore everyday faded away with the shadows. With his hair a tangled mess and his brow furrowed, Jace looked almost afraid. That was impossible though, Alec told himself. Jace wasn’t afraid of anything.

“What were you thinking about?” Jace asked.

Alec blinked, for a moment wondering if Jace could read his mind. But, no. “I was thinking about Max,” Alec whispered, tears rising behind his eyes. He fought them back. “He was so young – just a kid.”

“He was a Shadowhunter, Alec.”

“No, he wasn’t. He was a child who liked books and games, who broke rules and fell asleep in his glasses far too often.” Alec stood and paced the floor. He pushed his baby brother to the back of his mind. “Where have you been anyway?”

Jace shrugged and threw himself backward, his hands laying lazily above his head. “Just out and about.”

“Were you with Clary?” Alec blurted. He regretted the words the moment they left his lips. He had thought he was finally over his jealousy of Clary. Admittedly, when she first arrived at the Institute back in New York, Clary was everything Alec wanted to be. She was the one person who brought Jace back from the numb killing machine he was. Alec longed to be that person.

Jace picked at a nonexistent piece of lint on his shirt. “I went to say goodbye to her.”

“I see.” There was only one thing that Alec could think of that was involved with Jace’s goodbye, even if she _was_ his sister. Truthfully, Alec couldn’t see the two being related. When he’d been told so, he thought it was a mistake.

Jace sat up and stared at his _parabatai_. “It wasn’t like that, Alec,” he said, apparently able to read minds. “I just slept next to her. I needed to know she was okay.”

“And why say goodbye at all? Where are you off to?” Alec was sure he already knew the answer.

“To find Sebastian.”

Alec swore under his breath. “Jace, why do you always have to play the hero?”

“It’s in my blood, I guess.” A hint of a smile danced across Jace’s lips and the sight of it made Alec’s stomach flip. It was, after all, that damned smile that made the young Shadowhunter fall in love in the first place.

“Have you said goodbye to everyone then?”

“Just Clary.” Jace joined Alec on the floor and closed the gap between them. The air between the boys was snuffed out as Jace brought a calloused hand against Alec’s cheek. It rested surprisingly softly against the skin, his thumb swiping back and forth.

“Jace, what are you-“ Alec tried but stopped as soon as Jace’s lips connected with his.

Jace tasted like fire, Alec immediately thought. Scolding and too dangerous to touch – like a charred piece of toast. It was so unlike what he’d always imagined. In the stories, kisses were always sweet and fruity – sometimes striking like lightning. Yet, with Jace, Alec nearly felt faint. He didn’t hate it.

He pulled away far too hastily and looked at his _parabatai_. “What the _hell_ is your problem?”

“I-I thought you wanted this,” Jace stammered, clearly caught off guard.

“Wanted this?” Alec scoffed. “Well, maybe. But I know you don’t. So why are you?”

“Following Sebastian is going to be dangerous. I know once I find Valentine, he won’t let me go. If I do kill him, I’ll die too. I didn’t want to die without giving you what you wanted.”

“Jace, you can’t be serious.” Alec yanked himself out of Jace’s grasp and walked to the door. “I think you better leave.”

“Why? Alec, I know you look at me differently. It’s the same way Simon looks at Clary. Why are you acting so insulted now?”

“Because it’s selfish Jace!” Alec breathed heavy, anger rising in his chest. “Did you ever wonder why I never acted on the feelings I had for you? It was because I knew you didn’t feel the same way. I would have been a fool to make a move. It would have ruined everything between us. You do realize it’s against the Clave to fall in love with your _parabatai_ , right?”

“Alec, I didn’t-”

“And once they find out – and they eventually will – I’ll be exiled. Damn it, Jace, why can’t you just leave well enough alone? I was starting to get over all of this – to move on. I found Magnus. You found Clary.”

“Clary’s my sister.”

“You still love her. Don’t try to deny that.”

“Alec-”

“Tell me you don’t love Clary. Do it and I’ll throw myself at you.”

Jace sighed and collapsed on the bed. Its springs creaked under his weight. “I can’t say that.”

Alec unlocked the door and yanked it open. “Then get out.”

“Please-”

“Get the hell out, Jace. NOW!”

Jace rose and stalked towards the open door. He stepped into the hallway and turned around. “Just let me talk with you.”

Alec pinched his nose. Every ounce of his being said to allow Jace to stay but he knew it wasn’t fair – to him, to Magnus, or to Clary. “Jace, you don’t have to leave this house, but you cannot stay with me. I love you but you make me hurt too much.”

“Alec,” Jace began but the door slammed against him.

+++

Defeated, Jace headed back down the stairs and into the Penhallow’s kitchen. He didn’t really know where he was going to go. He’d probably just get a head start on his tracking. The longer he waited, he figured, the farther away Sebastian got. If he waited too long, the black-haired imposter might indulge Valentine in the Clave’s too many secrets.

He grabbed for the front door but stopped when a voice spoke behind him. All it said was, “Late night?” and sounded familiar. Jace turned and locked eyes with Clary’s best friend and the only vampire to ever stand in daylight – Simon.

Jace slit his eyes defensively. “What are you doing here, daylighter?”

“Where else would I be?” Simon shot back, undeterred. He sat on a stool, a glass of something in front of him, and a package of something else beside him. On further inspection, Jace saw that the package was cookies.

“I thought vampires didn’t eat human food,” he said.

“We don’t.” Simon dipped a cookie into the glass, held it there for a few seconds, and brought it to his mouth where he ate in one bite. “Some foods taste alright though. Cookies and milk are still nice.”

“Blood would probably be better.”

Simon shrugged. “Probably, yeah. Alec okay?”

“What are you-”

“Vampire hearing,” Simon reminded him. “I can’t turn it off, unfortunately. That was some argument you two were having.”

Jace stomped forward and slammed his fist on the countertop. “You listen here, daylighter. You don’t speak a word of anything that was said up there.”

“Believe me, I won’t.” Simon ate another cookie. “I feel bad for him, honestly – Alec. I know what it’s like to love someone who can’t love you back.”

“You don’t know what he feels. You at least dated the person you loved.”

“Yes, but she never did love me.”

Jace grabbed a stool and sat across from the vampire. “So, what’s your point? I tried to give Alec what he wanted and he didn’t accept.” Jace couldn’t believe he was telling all of this, though he figured it had something to do with Simon already having heard the argument.

Simon rolled his eyes, which appeared especially bright in the darkness. “That’s because he knows it wasn’t out of love. If you really loved him, you wouldn’t do it out of guilt. That’s what it is, isn’t it?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I? Tell me, Jace, did you feel anything when you kissed Alec?”

“Lips.”

“Any sparks, connections?”

Jace thought about it. He actually _hadn’t_ felt anything like that. He wondered if it was possible.

As if reading his mind, Simon smiled. “You can’t make yourself love someone in the way they want to be loved.”

“What can I do, daylighter?” Jace snapped.

Simon was unphased. “Show him that you can care for him in other ways.”

“Like what?”

“Did you ever share anything special as kids? Movies or games? Maybe there was a book that brought you closer as para-para-whatever the hell you call it.”

“ _Parabatai?_ Now that you mention it, there was something. You know, daylighter, maybe you’re worth keeping around after all.”

“Just don’t make me drink your stale blood again,” Simon said, mocking disgust.

+++

Jace left Simon in the kitchen and headed for the stairs. He knew exactly what he needed to do to convince Alec that his intentions were genuine. It surprised him though that it took someone like Simon to make it clear.

He knocked on Alec’s door three times before he received an answer – and it wasn’t the answer he expected. “Go away,” Alec’s voice called from inside the bedroom.

Jace pressed his face closer to the door. “Alec, please let me in.” There was no answer. Jace would not be deterred so easily. He called back to the story in his mind, the one he and Alec had read so many times together as kids.

“ _When I am king_ ,” he began, “ _they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books_ -”

The door swung open and Alec stood in tears. “ _…for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved._ The Prince and the Pauper.”

“We used to read it as kids,” Jace said, though he knew Alec already knew.

“Answer me one question, Jace,” Alec said, tears streaking his cheeks.

Jace nodded. “Anything.”

“Will you break my heart?”

“Alec, I want to protect your heart at all times. Haven’t you been able to see it? You made me your king for so many years when I should have made you mine.”

No more was said then. Alec stepped forward, pressing his body against Jace’s, and kissed his _parabatai_. Jace responded by grabbing at Alec’s legs and pulling them up. With him in his arms, Jace entered the bedroom and closed the door behind them.

Their lips never once disconnected as they moved to the bed and Alec was thrust upon it. Savagely, Jace tore at the pajamas clinging to his best friend’s body. They came off in strips, torn by eager hands. Alec, who usually felt exposed by just changing his shirt in front of someone, urged Jace further.

“Jace,” he breathed against the lips that no longer tasted burnt but like spices and peppers.

Jace answered by trailing his lips down Alec’s neck and across his body. He drew his head lower and lower until Alec moaned. He never knew the Shadowhunter could do anything else with his mouth other than brag. Now, it was like he was experiencing a completely new side of Jace.

“Please,” Alec pleaded, “I can’t hold out much longer.”

“You are sure you’re ready?” Jace asked and, when Alec nodded, undid his own clothes. They fell to the floor and the boys wound their bodies together. With no fire to keep the room warm and only a mattress below them, the boys shivered. It only lasted a moment though as their passion deepened and their bodies began to sweat.

Alec’s moans and Jace’s panting seemed to be the only sounds in the world. It was everything Alec had imagined. Somehow, in the span between their fight and now, Jace had learned to love differently. There was no pain and no heartbreak – just two bodies connecting in ways never thought to be possible.

Jace leaned into Alec’s ear, panting, and laughed. “I’m getting tired,” he admitted. “I’m not used to all the work.”

“Then allow me,” Alec purred.

The two rolled, only parting for a moment, and found a rhythm in Alec sitting atop. Jace realized quickly that Alec knew exactly what he was doing – how to move in just the right ways, how to fit Jace in the right crooks, and how to bring both of them closer to that finale.

“You’ve done this before?” Jace asked breathily.

Alec placed his hands on each side of Jace’s head and leaned down. They kissed for a moment, falling more and more into familiarity. “Magnus has shown me a few things. It’s different with you though.”

“How so?”

Alec leaned back and Jace took in the sight of his glistening body. It was smooth and hardened with years of training. Muscles lined every inch – muscles Jace wound his fingers over. His hands traveled down and soon he was giving Alec a pleasure he had never experienced.

“Because you do stuff like that,” Alec declared, nodding at Jace’s pumping hand.

“I love you, Alec,” Jace admitted, “but I can’t go much longer.”

“Me neither.” Alec lowered himself against Jace’s mouth and the two continued moving rhythmically until, at last, Jace cried out in finish. Alec’s body warmed and he gave way to the woes of passion.

When they both finished, drenched in sweat and sex, they collapsed beside each other. Alec laughed. Jace looked at him quizzically. “What’s so funny?”

“I never thought you’d make love to me.”

“What, you didn’t think I’d be on the bottom, did you?”

Alec cackled. “God, no. I wouldn’t know the first thing about that.”

Jace reached out his arm and Alec curled himself inward. Soon, the Shadowhunter fell asleep. Jace reached and pulled a blanket over the top of them. As he listened to the steady rise and fall of his _parabatai’s_ chest, he realized two things: he didn’t want to face Valentine and he might be falling in love with Alec Lightwood.


End file.
